Sunday, July 22, 2012

Back to Normal???

What is normal?  How do you define normal - is it what happens in the day to day of your own life?  What's comfortable to you?  I guess for me, normal is being anxious, uncomfortable, on edge, yet expecting all of that at the same time, and being OK with it.  Military life has a way of doing that to you....not to be confused with pessimistic, but rather expecting the worst will happen at any given moment and surprised when things go better than planned.  Take my recent visit to the local city pool with the kids.  Any  mom will tell you that their biggest fear is having a kid take a poop in a swim diaper....a reusable swim diaper, at that.

On this particular day, my wild little girl did her business a few times in the morning, so silly me, I thought we were in the clear for a non-poop pool day.  After being there for about two and a half hours, I was tired, feeling the sun, and ready to go.  Chasing after two kids in an extremely crowded pool is exhausting solo.  Laney is playing with a water feature similar to a hose and I get "the whiff" - someone's kid took a poop, but not mine....she pooped three times already today.  WRONG.  It was totally my kid.  As Leo and all the unsuspecting kids play in the poop water run off surrounding them (because let's face it, swim diapers keep the "mass" in, until it completely disintegrates, that is) I am feverishly trying to get her down and make a swift dash to our stuff and to the locker room.  Welp, I failed....Laney runs out of the pool, a diarrhea mess just streaming down her leg - and all I could do was run after her, hold my bikini top on, and scream at Leo "Get out of the pool, it's time to go...." - It was a hellacious, disgusting mess of a day - a shitty day, pun intended - but I can't say that I didn't expect something like that to occur....simply put, just a "normal" day because it WOULD just so happen that something like that happens when I take the kids to the pool by myself.
My sweet beauty Laney!

Leo before gymnastics camp.
                                               




































It has been about three months since our cross country road trip and relocation to Colorado.  The RV trip is still burned into our brains.....10 to 14 hour driving days in the confines of an RV (we were in that thing 24 hours a day for almost 5 complete days),  with two children and a dog, and my husband who just had to concentrate on driving.  I wanted to scream by the time we got here, but alas, we arrived, ourselves, the dog, the RV intact.  Now Dave and I completely understand why RVing is done by parents of MUCH older children and retired folks.  Still, we remain thankful to my dad and step mom that we got the opportunity to see the landscape of our country.

Getting settled here was and has been an adjustment.  Our image of our big move to Colorado and life here was full of plenty of time together, backpacking, white water rafting, blah...b l a h...b  l  a  h...- in actuality, Dave has been gone half the time we've been here and I feel like I have been dumped in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles from family and familiarity and sanity.  Don't get me wrong, we LOVE it here....but, it's weird.  Adjustment is an understatement, but I am sure that this is one of those things all military wives experiencing when venturing off to the unknown.  Leo is back in gymnastics (which he loves) and Laney took classes for a month, but she is just too wild and hard headed to follow directions at this point (Mama's girl).  We have signed him up for school for the fall, swim lessons have been taken and passed already, we've ventured into Denver a couple times, etc etc.  Life has been busy, but that's normal for us.  I decided a few weeks ago to chop all my hair off - and I mean all of it off.  Donated a total of 84 inches to Locks of Love (they ponied my hair into 5 pony tails and chopped them all off!).  After discovering an umbilical hernia, I had it repaired and was up and running a week later.  I find myself lost a bit more lately than usual just being in a strange place, no friends - I miss my girls and my tight knit community.....all of the girls I knew, we could bitch and moan about (this) LIFE and we would just "get" one another.  I miss that.  (But on a plus, our new neighbors are AMAZING - they are just great people, that do good things, they're just good people.  Kevin mowed the lawn for me the other day because he knew Dave was out of town and our lawn mower was in the shop and they've had the kids and I over quite a few times for cookouts!)  The kids and I have been exploring a lot on our own, which has  been cool.  They are some adventurous kids!  So while I felt like I was in the middle of drowning in Dave's life and absence and raising my children, I decided to do something FOR ME.    So, after a lot of deliberation, I decided to run the Marine Corps Marathon again.  (I know - most women want to go to the spa, or get a mani/pedi and a massage -  I choose to run a marathon again, after swearing I would never run one again ever....).  


Dave and I, before I cut my hair off - enjoying vino on our back deck, watching the sun set.




Running in Colorado is NO JOKE.  The hills are EVERYWHERE and the thin air made it hard to run at the same pace as I did in Camp Lejeune.  Finally feeling adjusted to the altitude, I took the plunge - but mostly because I have a running buddy here - ironically, our move to Colorado found us in the same city as one of Dave's instructors who is married to a woman who runs - and when I say"runs" I mean she sprints - I think she is shooting for a sub 3:30 marathon.......basically, I might die if I try to run under that, but I think that training with her will only improve me as a runner.  So far I have just finished my second week of marathon training.  I find myself wanting to run while pushing my children and all 110 pounds that is the double stroller less and less.  I LOATHE running and pushing that thing - I am so slow, get winded immediately, and HATE it.  It makes me angry.  So, making a few adjustments to my plan, I will push both of them no longer than 4 miles, and I will push one of them no more than 6 miles.  Everything else I will integrate treadmill running and solo/buddy runs, but NO KIDS (unless Dave is running with and pushes them the whole way).  The athletic community here is RIDICULOUS - there are always people running, even more people biking.  Just the other day before a 5 miler with the kids, I asked a colorful gentlemen (Enriqo from Italy) which way I should run - I guess I didn't understand, because his Italian accent was so thick, but I ran the wrong way- not the wrong way technically, but the hilly, rattlesnake infested path.  It was a NIGHTMARE but when I came back to my car with my tail between my legs at the AWFUL time I had just run, a note and a Competitor Magazine was sticking out of my window, from my buddy Enriqo.  The runners and cyclists here are supportive of one another, which is awesome.  If you are looking for an outdoorsy community, come to Colorado.  


A dirt road I frequently run with the kids on.  BEWARE:  mountains and hills dead ahead!




So now I find myself back into the swing of normal life - Dave in and out, me and the kids doing our own stuff, having fun on the weekends as a family, and LOTS OF RUNNING.  I have concluded that normal days are erratic yet semi-scheduled and flowing.  Most of the time, things go the way that you've planned them to go wrong, but you planned it, so it works out.  I am lucky to have met a running buddy, to have at least one good neighbor here, that we have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and that we love each other.  It is such a challenge to be a stay at home mom, let alone a stay at home mom in a military life, where the comings and goings of our spouses often leave holes in our hearts that go unnoticed.  We often find ourselves lost in this world, losing ourselves, forgetting what we love.  I felt myself slipping for a split second from what I love and what I need, not only as a mom and wife, but as an individual - only to discover that it was running.  I look forward to future runs and discovering more about me through the power of the pavement.


Happy running - see ya in three months!