Home safe and sound. It was 10pm, cold, rainy, my children had both not napped, I had re-done my hair and makeup and outfit a million times - we came to wait in the rain, armed with a photographer and anxiety. The kids and I were ready. Even though the weather was atrocious, it worked - we parked ourselves under a less than sturdy tent, my hands clutching my children, cell phone, and diaper bag - slowly but surely, the Marines trickled in, eyes scanning the masses for their families. I saw him walking up, and it immediately felt like a weight had been lifted - I crouched next to Leo and said "Look Leo, there's your Daddy...." - it was like something out of a movie, without fail, the two of them, Leo and Dave, ran up to one another and he just sobbed. I think I was most excited about seeing Dave again for our little boy. His Daddy is his world. They are two peas in a pod.
Nothing but happy tears for this kid. Laney bug had no clue - she's so little. She knew her Daddy, but took some time to warm up to him. Understandable.
In the days after my husband came home, I ran into quite a few girlfriends. They all asked "How's it feel now that your hubby is home?". I think most women would say that they were overjoyed, they were so happy. And I am. I think of countless women who don't get the opportunity to welcome back their husband from war....I know some of these women. All the kids that don't have their Daddy. I think of the guys who are still over there, returning home soon. Bitter sweet. My response to my girlfriends was honest....."It's good. A little weird, but good.". My friends looked at me like I was CRAZY! Who says that?! It made me feel guilty to say that. I am happy he is home, don't get me wrong, but it's weird sometimes.
I have found that not many people reflect on the awkwardness and readjustment that happens when someone returns home from war. Simple things, like driving or talking to a female, that they aren't used to. As truly amazing as it is to have him home, it takes work to get back into a good groove. It's sort of surreal that Dave is home, but it's almost like he never left. It's weird. But at the same time, we have to relearn each other - what sets us off, how to talk to one another. Months of nearly non-existent communication makes these simple, everyday things to the average person, really hard for people like us. This deployment, Dave and I each had our own personal journeys. Me especially. As independent and as well as I do operate when he is gone, I really grew into my own this go around. And now, I have to tame that beast a bit. But, at the same time, our relationship grew by leaps and bounds this deployment, so I find that things that would generally have pissed me off a year ago, don't really bother me a whole lot. Out of all of this, we have learned to respect one another a lot more and appreciate each other a lot more. I think out of all of this, we have really understood that while we are a tight family unit, that he and I are one, we also maintain that we have separate lives, which is okay. I actually enjoy having some alone time now, as opposed to a year ago, I felt like I needed to be around him 24/7. And maybe part of that is knowing that he won't have to deploy again in 11 months, that we have so much time with one another in our future - now we can just live for NOW rather than living for the future, living for the "we need to do this now because you won't be here next year".
A week has passed since he returned home; I'd be lying if I said the adjustment and reintegration into life at home was easy. Nothing in this life is easy. We had our moments, but were able to work through them, pinpoint the issue, and move forward. We are happier than we have ever been. We are more connected than we have ever been. My kids are so happy that their Daddy is home.
So ask me now: "Are you happy that your hubby is home? How does it feel to finally have him back?" - It feels amazing and wonderful. I am so happy that he's home safe and sound, but I pray for all of those who haven't come back home yet and who won't come home. It's weird to look at him next to me in bed, knowing that I dreamt about the day he would come home again to me for so long. There are days that I feel like I know him better than he knows himself, and vice versa, and there are days when I feel like I don't understand him at all. It's part of it. I do know, however, that we are happier and more in love than we have ever been; that this time apart has given us a greater appreciation and a greater understanding of one another as individuals than we ever had before. So now, we will just: Keep. Moving. Forward. and see how our big, upcoming move to Colorado pans out! We have so much to look forward to!
Well said my dear, well said. Love to you all.
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