Countdowns....

As a mom, military wife, student, and marathon trainer, I count down a lot.  Everything. 

My first 26.2 - 6 days til go-time.  Over the last week or so, I've been feeling lazy, tired, not excited about it, not excited about running.  Period.  After a few good runs this week, three of which with my awesome run club, I feel like I've got "it" back....my mo-jo.  I feel strong again and confident again.  The battle was purely mental, even though my 17, 20, and 16 mile training runs still feel like a dream.  Did I really do that....RUN that far??!!

My final long-ish training run was today.  I originally wanted to go 8-9 miles, but opted for a little over 7, after all, I was pushing my kids in the double stroller.  Many of us that do these long runs often push our kids, for 10 + miles....and it sucks.  And it's hard.  But, it's good training - without the kids, I feel like I am flying.

I ended up running 7.27 miles in 1:01 making my average pace around an 8:23.  Hard but gives me hope for a decent pace for the marathon.  I'd be completely lying if I didn't say I was nervous about running a marathon....it's a freaking marathon....but, I know I will finish.  I think my biggest issue is letting people down - all my running buddies that have such faith in me, that think I can finish it in a certain time.....I don't want to let them down!  I am sure I will get sucked in to the race-day hype and pick a "rabbit" to chase.  So:  my goal - 3:40 - 3:45  If I finish faster, awesome.  If I don't finish in that time, oh well.  It will give me something to work up to next marathon.  I do wish that Dave was here though.  I know he's with me, even though he's physically not here - he knows when the marathon is, all the work I have put in, still, I know seeing all these guys and their wives, all these Marines and service members is going to be bitter sweet.  But, it is what it is. 

So now, the countdown is on.  SIX days til race day.  THREE days before our travels up north....slow and steady, slow and steady, I think I can, I think I can. 
In addition to counting down days and training runs until upcoming races, we count down lots of other things.  Like, sometimes, I count down hours til bedtime.  Actually most days I do that.  Especially recently....my three year old, such a mess.  Between being sick, always wanting chocolate milk and chips, being overly tired every second of every day, missing his daddy, and just being three....he is WEARING ME DOWN.  Common colds hit Leo like a Mack Truck.....just suckiness all around.

 Our big countdown....HOMECOMING!!! It started the second he left, let's be honest..  Instead of counting down days, I count down how many times I have to take out the trash.....which happens once a week.  A little kooky, yes, probably.  Maybe this takes the sting away from seeing numbers in the hundreds via counting down days.  Plus, I hate taking out the trash.  Worked in with this, we count down days until the next big events, like traveling for Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years - makes the time seem like it's going by faster than it really is, but to be honest, time does feel like it's flying.  I've never been the type to wish time away, especially when my kids are at these ages (one and three) and with our lives always been in such a constant state of change, but deployments are different.  While it sucks to not have Dave with us through Thanksgiving and Christmas, it will also keep us busy. Three more road trips home and then we're done. One trip without the dog....etc etc.  I think most women and men in my situation would give anything for a time machine - or a magic carpet for that matter, both to bring our hubby's home or to avoid car trips that can be rather nightmarish. 

Either way, counting down or not, the clock is ticking.  The leaves are changing colors, trees are thinning out - just yet more indications fall is kind of here, winter is coming, and so is Dave.  I never thought I would ever run a marathon, hell, I never thought I would run a half marathon.  I thought I'd always be a gym rat, in pursuit of the ideal body (whatever the hell that is)....but now, I crave competition....I want to be fast, and I want to be healthy, leading by example for my kids.   Leo said after one of our running club runs as he hopped out of the jogging stroller "Ya wanna know what I wanna be when I grow up??  A runner!" and he took off, running.  Yesterday, he ran up and down the street, saying "Look at me Mommy, I am running fast." - made me so happy.   My running club has given me the confidence I need, the companionship I desperately needed, and the support.  There's very little catty, typical woman shit talking (actually, I haven't noticed any) - we are all here to support one another, and RUN...and I think it's because those who come, WANT to be there and are basking in the company that they have chosen.  We accept one another as we are: faults, sweaty crotches, no make-up, and screaming kids. Sounds like a nightmare, but it's perfect and it's what I needed.  Good, honest, supportive, and caring friends.  We make fun of each other, but in a playful, buddy-buddy way, no judgements - always making each other laugh when we need it most (right my bear-like fearless leader...clomp clomp clomp clomp).  =)

So in closing, six days til marathon day.  Crisp morning air means winter is on it's way, meaning my husband will be home before I know, especially with the holidays around the corner.  Life is good.  I have my groove and running mojo back.   I am ahead in school, keeping my 3.8 GPA on point (holler)...  I feel good, ready to go.