Run like a Mother....

Our club shirts.  They are sick.  Thank you fearless leader!

Before I ran, before any of this - Dave, the kids, probably in my college years, I was lost....lost is probably an understatement, I was a MESS.  After having kids, I just felt like I was here, moseying along, following my husband around like a lost puppy and tending to the chilluns.  Now, after four years of marriage, into our second deployment, I feel more keyed into who I am and what I am supposed to do in life.  Be a mom.  Run.  Drink coffee....hehe, kidding.  I was chatting with a girlfriend today and we were talking about life and whatnot - I hit a rough patch over the last few days, not necessarily with the deployment itself, but with my son not sleeping well, coupled with a cold, and my lack of motivation to run.  Laney, also, took it upon herself to dip my phone, ever so delicately, into the dog's water bowl, sort of like an Oreo cookie, into milk.  WTF??!!??  After letting it air out, it's functioning.  I say functioning because every two seconds, the camera comes on and sometimes my scroll thingy doesn't work.  But, I can answer calls and send emails, so I'm good for now.  Maybe when Christmas rolls around, I'll use my upgrade and get an Iphone (Linda, are you reading this??!!?? LOL)



So, a few bad days....in a row....mental exhaustion, lack of motivation...I think what it all boils down to is, I'm tired.  Side note:  My good friend and neighbor called me today and was listening to a radio psychic who said there are a lot of spirits on base here, and that they suck the life out of the people, so she was concerned that was the reason I was so tired all the time and drank so much coffee....she made me chuckle tonight!  haha!  So, I'm done bitching about it.  It is what it is.  Rather than complaining about it, I bought bunk beds.  What the hell, right?  It's been in the back of my head for a while - maybe Leo's sleep issues are a combination of mostly missing dad and being in a huge full size bed by himself. 

He loves them, the bunk beds.  And that makes me very happy because I distinctly remember when I had bunkbeds....and when my brother rolled off the top bunk of said bunk beds on more than one occasion....Leo went to bed tonight, HAPPY, and has been asleep for well over two hours now; I know, doesn't sound like much, but normally he'd be up, eating chips and playing games/reading books/buying random shit on I-Tunes while I work.  To hit it home, I let him pick out his own bedding for the bed - Toy Story 3.  He's a cool kid, Leo.  His dad would be proud to know that he picked out the comforter with Rex the Dinosaur on it. 

Although mind has been resistent to run lately, my body has been okay with it.  Monday I ran a short 5.5.  I started slow but picked up the pace with each mile.  I'm going to be honest here:  I think when you think you may have to poop, you run faster. 

Same thing today, 38 minute run and went 4.67 miles, pushing the kids in the double stroller with a great workout partner.  What ever is going on in my head, it goes away once the run is done, and my motivation and confidence comes back.  I think that also, being with friends just helps, in general.  Our kids are distracted by one another, giving my active brain a chance to relax.  A good friend came by with her two wild ones and helped me put together Leo's bunk beds. Pizza, beer, girl time while doing man stuff, it was great.  Took like 5 hours, but it was great nonetheless AND my house was probably cleaner after they left than it was before they arrived...BONUS!

Brings me to the next thing:  I would not be where I am without the support system that I have and without family to continually support me and the kids.  Not only is it the help that I need when I need it, but it's the outreach.  Just friends who know when I am having a hard time, in general, that ask how it's going and friends who pop over to bring me a cup of coffee - THANK YOU - and family.  We would not be here without family - everyone has been so amazing to open up their homes, come visit, and just lighten the load, making this separation easier and less stressful.  The visits here and our visits to them have already helped these three months fly by, and with the holidays right around the corner, not to mention the big 26.2 in about a week and a half, I know that before I know it, I will be counting down the hours until Dave is back.  I can't stress enough how thankful I am of everyone who is in our life right now - the running club, I know, has given me more drive than I could imagine and has given me something to look forward to...our regularly scheduled runs, impromptu runs, fellowship, playdates, just good people.  My stepmom told me today that she is glad I have friends that take care of us and help us out when we need it.  She's right, I'm glad too.  It makes me feel more together and connected and busy while Dave is gone; I feel more focused now, more in tune with myself, more "ok" with this life....I was always "OK" with it, but something always screamed "NOOOOOOO THIS SUCKS", now, I guess I'm impartial and used to it - it is what it is.  The only thing I can really do from the "homefront" is just stay busy and keep the faith - faith in my husband and faith in the Marines - so I do.

Ending, I hope that my kids will learn and understand one day what we have done for them and gone through.  I know my son and daughter will learn countless things from their Daddy and about his experiences in the military - but hopefully not til later in life.  I hope my kids will learn from me, just to not give up.  Here I am, 25 years old, after 7 years of college, collectively, I am FINALLY almost done, and have done it through two deployments, a pregnancy, and having them AND training for a marathon.  Don't ever give up on your dreams, goals, and yourself.  It doesn't matter who you are or what you choose to do, to be, just be and just do it.  If you want it that badly, you can make it happen.