Ran on the Bandwagon!

Everyone is doing it.  Blogging.  Thoughts about life, random things.  Whatever.  If all your friends tell you to jump off of a bridge (or run a marathon), then jump (or run).  So, here I am.  Married to the love of my life and have two beautiful kids.  Did I mention my husband of 4 years is a Marine and has been home for maybe, mayyyyyybe half of our marriage?!  Yikes, right?  So, luckily he was here when both our kids were born and has been home for many good milestones.  This picture above is from July 2011, right before he deployed on a second tour to Afghanistan - nay nay stan - as I like to call it; sounds less harsh that way.  This was July 19th, 2011 - the day he left for Afghanistan this second time.

So, what are my three year old boy and my one year old baby girl up to.  Trying to stay as busy as possible.  Playdates, preschool, gymnastics, running, and coffee by the gallon consume our day.  A good friend and I have noted our days are like the movie "Groundhog's Day" - same shit (not that it's bad), different day.  Some days, I feel like a zombie.  Insert school for myself and running on top of that - so I guess saying that we try to stay busy is an understatement.  We stay busy.  My three year old, however recently, after nearly three months of Dave being gone, is not so convinced about Daddy and his job.  We've got the routine down packed - he knows the deal, Daddy's gone, he'll be back when it's frigid and snowy....what the hell does that mean to a three year old?  Nothing.  He asks every day to wear snowpants so Dad comes home.  Honestly, this kid has me beat.  What do you say to that?  So, most days he puts on snow pants around the house in the morning.  Whatever floats your boat.  Laney, my daughter, on the other hand has no idea what's going on - she points at pictures of Dave and continually babbless "dadadadaddadada" and sleeps and cuddles with her Daddy Doll.  Yes, my kids have dolls with Dave's entire full length picture on it; seems to help with the disconnect.  Do they make them for adults?  Honestly.

So, to keep myself sane, I drink far too much coffee (ask anyone that knows me) and run like the dickens.  I think that drives me is this life - coffee and running...moreso on the coffee.  There are some days I seriously think I may be an addict....ok, I know I am an addict, but seriously.  I love coffee...can you tell I've had far too much tonight???!?!?!!!  Kidding.  =)  Constant deployments, work ups, comings and goings - maybe running is the only constant thing I've got going for me.  Yes, I am in school, but that is ending in March (thank GOD).  Maybe in a life that is so uncontrollable, I can control how I run...how far, how fast, how slow, even down to controlling my Ipod while I run, where I run.  I. Am. In. Control.  Plain and simple.  And maybe this is why I LOVE running now.  Okay, I don't actually love running all the time, but it's good for me, so maybe that's why I do it.  I seem to be okay at it, so that's always an added plus.  I hated running before.  I did it in little bits, but I hated it.  Used having kids as an excuse to be a gym rat, foregoing running while pushing my kids.  Enter: Stroller Warriors - my saving grace.  A running club compiled of women JUST LIKE ME.  Crazy right?!  "Single moms" with their kids, looking for friendship and encouragement, and an ass kicking run - all while pushing kids, toddlers, and babies in strollers.  It's insane.  Twenty plus women barrelling down the road and sidewalk, kids throwing sippy cups and toys (well, mine mostly), and everyone happy, healthy, chatting away.  It is good times.  Prior to this group, I always felt like I never really "fit" - people never got me.  You either hate me or love me.  And these girls have embraced me and my kids like we are their own.  I have never in my life experienced more compassion, understanding, and encouragement than I do when I am around these remarkable women.  (Not even half of us in this shot)

So, I began with the run club around May 2011 - after being talked into going for over a year, I finally went.  Fast forward to September 4, 2011. 

Virginia Beach, VA - Rock and Roll Half Marathon.  Never would have done this without the support and training of my running club.  Finished in 1:46:and some change.  Top 10% out of like 15,000 runners.  Sucess on my first half marathon.  Team Emison representing my hubby and all of those guys over there.  Those are my buddies Jim, Lynn (they're married) and Amanda (she's getting  married).  And ps:  our friend Jim, totally been on Saturday Night Live twice in a row...no big deal.  Ok, now, fast forward to Sept 24, 2011:

Fourth overall female and  my team came in Third - our running club kicked total ass that race, sweeping women's team medals, shaved about 6 or so minutes off of my previous half.  Okay, now the kicker:  October 30th, Marine Corps Marathon.  A full 26.2 miles of torture.  Apparantly my club has faith in me to do this and do it well, I was practically BULLIED into signing up.  And I mean bully in a positive way.  I know I can do it - but I want to be good.  To be fast.  So, I've been training.....and I mean that loosely.  I run a few times a week, nothing over 7 during the week and long runs during the weekend.  Check out my last long run...20 miles:

So, I think I run for a multitude of reasons at this point, but now, I just want to be better, and to not let my girls down.  I finally have something for ME.  I think many people in my situation often feel stuck in their husband's shadows (which is understandable, these men and women are putting their lives on the line for this country), life revolving around them solely, that there is very little that's just for them.  I have always supported Dave with whatever he has wanted to do, and I always will.  We stand together, but I finally feel like this is my thing, my time.  No I'm not working, no I am not doing anything remarkable, but I feel successful and fulfilled internally, ya know?.  And I know Dave feels the same thing for himself (except we both would rather have him home).   

So, anyways, when my days aren't consumed with fighting crappy drivers in and around Jacksonville, I love to be lazy and play with  my babies.  They are so much fun.  They love life.  Reading.  Playing.  And I love them.  They are my world.  I put every ounce of energy into them when Dave is gone - I think most of us with kids and husband's who are gone do.  Yeah, we're tired.  Beyond tired.  But we have to.  When 6:00pm hits on the clock, I swear I am in a daze - vision blurred from  how tired I am.  I probably drink a gallon of coffee a day so when I crash, it is legit - I am done.  Being overly exhausted helps me sleep at night when otherwise I would be up - just thinking.  Thinking about what has to be done tomorrow, up checking my school website, laundry, and Dave.  As with most of us that are in this life, they're always on our minds....be it in the front or backs of our minds, they're there.  I think I tend to supress it, at least this time around.  I'm busy, my kids are busy, life goes on.  All I can do is pack each package for him with all the love that I can - sounds corny, but it's true.  I spray every letter and green military issued t-shirt with perfume (to which Dave recently said, it smelled so good, when he walked by wearing one of those perfume drenched shirts, Marines were getting boners left and right.....haha...okay, I know he was being sarcastic, but still that's hilarious....it's the little things like that these guys miss....), make sure he's got enough food, baby wipes, deoderant, and pictures from the kids.  This is crazy.  I always think how crazy this life is.  We live for the future.  Future events...the "we have to do this now because you won't be here next year...".  One thing is for sure, I cannot wait until all of this slows down. 

I can't wait for this!